


Knowing and Understanding

by bitsnbobs



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Gen, Outbursts of emotion, Realisations, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4233138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsnbobs/pseuds/bitsnbobs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...but no, I was angry. Why should he be safe, talking to God all day and not be helping us on the battlefields...” Athos reached for his glass, eyes flashing with memories.<br/>“Well...what changed?” D’Artagnan questioned.<br/>“Porthos,” Athos replied lips forming half smile, “Porthos sat me down and much like I am doing now with you, reminded me of Aramis’ history.” </p><p>d'Artagnan has a bit of an angry outburst and Athos calms him down. Hope you enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knowing and Understanding

“Yeah, go on, leave. You're good at that!” D'Artagnan yelled at Aramis' retreating back.

“d'Artagnan! That is enough!” Athos erupted, shoving the boy back down into his chair. 

Porthos was already half way to the door following Aramis but he too growled at the younger Musketeer, “You better think on your words, little brother.”  


“I’ve got this,” Athos assured Porthos before d’Artagnan could bite back a response, ‘Be with him.”

Porthos nodded knowingly and left. D'Artagnan snorted but with no humour, “Huh. He wasn't with us.”

At that, Athos had had enough. He banged his fists down on the table hard enough that all the glasses rattled dangerously but more importantly, he'd shocked d’Artagnan enough to have the man looking at him with full attention.

“Enough!” Athos asserted again with a venomous edge, “Porthos is right, d’Artagnan, you need to think on your words.”

D’Artagnan blinked, “I don’t know why you are angry. What I said was true. He wasn’t there so how can he know?”

The elder Musketeer shook his head and sighed, “He didn’t need to be.”

“He did, if he is going to talking as if he knows what it was like. I mean, damn it, Athos, you saw the-“

“How old were you when you became a Musketeer? “ Athos interrupted firmly, catching D’Artagnan off guard.

“Er...24...what the-“

“Aramis became a soldier at 19,” Athos stated watching his younger friend to see if his message was being heard. At the moment only a confused gaze greeted his words but at least that had temporarily erased the anger so he pressed on, “Aramis became a Musketeer aged 22.”

“I don’t need Aramis’ history-“d’Artagnan started.

Athos raised brow, “Seems to me you do. You just accused Aramis of not knowing the horrors of war, d’Artagnan, when that man has been in active duty longer than any of us-“

“But he left!” d’Artagnan huffed.

“For good reason and you know it,” Athos reminded him sternly. 

They were quiet for a moment. d’Artagnan lent on the table with his head in his hands and Athos just watched him, hoping that he was beginning to work out his issues and see his mistake.

“He wasn't with us, Athos,” d’Artagnan broke the silence with a whisper.

Athos thought on that before responding, “When Aramis chose to remain at the monastery, I was angry.”

D’Artagnan looked up at that, “But you-“

“I know, I know, I said it was all fine but no, I was angry. Why should he be safe, talking to God all day and not be helping us on the battlefields...” Athos reached for his glass, eyes flashing with memories.

“Well...what changed?” D’Artagnan questioned.

“Porthos,” Athos replied lips forming half smile, “Porthos sat me down and much like I am doing now with you, reminded me of Aramis’ history.” 

“What?”

Athos put his glass back down and turned in his chair so he was properly facing the puzzled looking d’Artagnan. It was time this matter was truly brought home so they could begin to move past this. “Aramis became a soldier aged 19,” he repeated, holding up his hand when d’Artagnan tried to interject again, “He had 5 years on you. A lot more on me. And Porthos. But Aramis; he gave his life to this age just 19. And he never stopped d’Artagnan. He fought on battlefields, he slept in the mud and cold, he's been surrounded by fear, blood and death...alone...yet time and time again, he carried on. So 3 years ago when he decided to stop, I was angry at first, I admit, but then Porthos made me see that Aramis deserved that break, not in the least because of events surrounding the time, but because Aramis had already seen enough. He has seen enough, d’Artagnan. He knows.”

Somewhere in the midst of speaking, Athos could see his message dawning in the eyes of the younger Musketeer and had reached across to lay a hand on his shoulder. He waited now as D’Artagnan processed his words fully; he eyes appeared to be pricking with the threat of tears.

“Oh hell,” D’Artagnan breathed out, “ I never- I mean- I didn’t... Its just he wasn’t with us, you know?”

Athos nodded but he smiled slightly, “His prayers would have been.” Athos wasn't overly religious but given that the three of them that went off to war all returned physically unharmed, his mind had wondered of late to those matters. 

d’Artagnan rubbed a tired hand down his face, “And, you’re right, he does know. Arghhh...How could I not see that? Athos, I accused the man of not understanding?! Aramis, of all people!’ He threw his hands up in anger. Anger, this time, directed straight at himself. 

Athos caught one of his arms, not wanting the kid to loose himself again, “Yes, you did. But, you know what?” 

“I feel awful.”

“Aramis understands,” Athos stated letting go of the arm and giving d’Artagnan a knowing look, “He no doubt feels guilty for everyday he wasn’t there for us-“

“But you just said-“

“I didn’t say he is right to feel guilty. Far from it. Looking back, I think it was wrong of us to ever go to the monetary and ask that of him, put him in that position,” Athos sighed and ran a hand down his face, “But we can’t keep dwelling in the past. There is a present and a future to live.”

d’Artagnan’s eyes pricked again and he wiped at them “I need to find him and apologise.”

“Apology accepted.” A soft voice came from behind the two men who turned quickly at the unexpected return of their friend.

D’Artagnan moved first, rising from his chair and launching himself towards Aramis’ open arms. 

“I’m sorry,” the kid gasped out into his older brother’s shoulder.

“Its okay”, Aramis whispered running a soothing hand down his back.

Behind Aramis, Porthos has also entered the room and he smiled at the embrace of his brothers while sharing a nod with Athos that everything was indeed okay.  
Except, they both knew that d’Artagnan's outburst had been more about himself than Aramis. Aramis too knew this. War had made its mark on their youngest and the wound was going to take time to heal. They would get through this. 

Still Aramis pushed d’Artagnan gently back so he could see his face, “I am sorry, I wasn't with you. With all of you,” he said glancing at Athos and Porthos too, “But I am here now.”

Porthos clapped a hand on his back, “We know.”

d'Artagnan put his hand out in front of himself with a small smile. And sure enough three other hands joined his. Nothing was said. Nothing need to be. 


End file.
